Night Shenanigans

Hi friend!

In my last post, I talked about morning routines. So, obviously, in this post, I’m going to talk about the positive benefits of having plants.

I’m kidding! While Google can tell us all of those positive benefits of raising plants, I’m still working on keeping mine alive… so, I can’t speak to that… yet.

Realistically, a good morning routine is only as good as the routine the night before. Some caveats can include: a reallllllly good night of sleep, a really good reason for skipping routine, or if you’re just a talented human. Spoiler alert: I’m not that last one.

If I go to bed stressed, chances are, I’m waking up that way. Maybe less so, but I am definitely one who struggles with the whole, “it’s a new day” concept. Sure, possibly a failing I should be working on in therapy, but until then, I’ve noticed that if my routines are steady, at both ends of my day, it just sets me up to feel more capable of anything coming my way. (If you just snorted at “at both ends” - you are my people)

Here’s another spoiler alert: this process looks very similar to my morning routine! Why did I start with the morning routine post?

Because that’s the start of the day. 

Actually, that’s not entirely it. Yes, it’s the start of the day, and if you're like me, you’re more limited in time at the start of the day. Therefore, if there are things I wanted to do in the mornings that I just can’t get in, then I need to prioritize those things in the evening (*cough* get in intentional movement *cough* take a shower and not stink). So, in order to know what I need to add in to my evenings, I need to know what I just can’t quite sneak in during the mornings - unless I want to wake up at the ass crack of the ass crack of dawn and I don’t particularly want to do that.

Also, I’m going to be honest with you. The morning routine write-up came first because it was easier for me. Walking through what my weeks look like in the evening is a little… well… nuts.

So, what’s the jam here?

What’s my basic process for creating an evening routine?

-What do I need to do in the evenings? How long does each task take? 

-What did I not get done in the morning that I need to do in the evening?

-What would I like to do in the evenings? How long does each task take?

-What time do I need to go to bed?

The theory is backwards design! Just like last time! But, actually, not really. Because it’s really more contingent on what time I get home each night and then I fudge around the time constraints until I hit the sweet spot. 

So, if you get home at 6 and your dream world is to go to bed at 9: how do you make it all work? What can you do to shift things to take less time?

For instance, I know that most nights I need to do a workout or intentional movement of some sort. On Mondays, I drive my daughter to her dad’s (it’s not super nearby) and hang out down there. I can sometimes go for a walk, but if there’s inclement weather - not my jam. So, Mondays are my rest days or I get a bonus walk in. 

Because Mondays are what they are, I also don’t stress about my daughter practicing piano or reading (I read to her). These are two tasks that I do like to sprinkle throughout the week. I’m also not going to stress the two of us out.

I’ve also added a new habit into our routine. I’ve never done this before. We choose our clothes on Sunday. Well, I shouldn’t say habit quite yet. We did it last week. It worked great. We didn’t do it this week in full - because we’re a little ahead - we’re doing ok, but last week was definitely better. So, moving forward that’s a Sunday task, meaning it’s not part of the nightly routine. I also make her snacks on Sundays (she eats school hot lunch). Again, off my plate during the week!

See what I mean by nights maybe being a little more difficult on consistency? That’s just one night. Every single night for us looks very different and it may for you, as well. 

What does this mean?

We have a slightly different routine each night! The basics are there as cornerstones for each of us, but the expectations are reasonable for the time allotted for that given night. (Such as the kid needing to brush her teeth or me needing to not stink - nightly activities no matter the night. Caveat: if kiddo is asleep in the car when we get home, I carry her straight to bed. All 52 pounds of her. Straight to bed. I am not risking my peace in waking her up)

TO-DO’s: (Look exactly like last week… just saying… I wouldn’t want anybody to say that I’m not giving credit to myself)

-Do you already have a routine?

Before you look at your routine, do a self-check-in. What are your needs? Often, we just keep a routine for a long time that doesn’t necessarily serve our current state of affairs. Then, revisit your routine and tweak!

-Do you not have a routine?

See if my way works for you! If it doesn’t, what does and doesn’t work and then find the best planning practice for you. Some people need a little less structure, some need a little more.

*Side note to structure* I will be going even deeper and actually assigning a time to each task. That creates both a sense of urgency (i.e. not getting on my phone and messing around), while also creating a sense of calm because I’m not scrambling to figure out what’s next and what else I need to do. For some people, this would create insane anxiety. This goes back to the point of doing what works for YOU and taking the nuggets of ideas to help you formulate something for YOU.

-Do you not have an evening routine and don’t want one?

Cool! I love it! Is there anywhere else in your life where something like this would be helpful? Go gangbusters! If not, also cool! Thanks for reading ;)

Just to note:

At the end of every newsletter or post will be this reminder. I am just a person. With a whole lot of life experiences. With a whole lot of degrees in a a couple of different fields that are NOT therapy based - one is sociology based, so at least I have the observation of people, interaction, and the like going for me as I write this.

Why do I mention this? I am a FIRM believer in mental health and going to therapy to get stronger emotionally (and mentally and possibly even spiritually if that’s your thing). So, please, when you read my, or any other newsletter, take everything with a grain of salt and only apply what works for you and your life. AND think about seeking out support in the form of therapy - everybody could learn or expand on their life and coping mechanisms.

Until then or while you’re going and getting your therapy on - hope you got a small nugget from this space to inspire you, make you think, or at the very least, get a wee chuckle with a head shake at my antics.

Catch ya on the flip - living the dream.

~Morgan